The names of those who contributed their angstiest lines in realtime over IRC have been omitted to protect the guilty. Wikihack accepts no responsibility for brain damage or bleeding around the eyes which may occur while reading this poem.

In the dark dungeons of NetHack
My soul unwinds
Slain by a grid bug
My heart like a cursed bag of holding
And your tainted love was like a wand of cancellation
I wished for happiness
But all I got was a woodchuck

Rest in peace Hachi
Killed by a falling rock trap
Stupid fucking dog

Happiness not for sale
Asidonhopo the purveyor of my misery
Love stolen away in the night
Gremlins sear my breast
My scrolls of light are all cursed
Aggravate monster
All my pets go feral
Even Sting blasts me

No beauty in the dungeon
No flowers here
Only fungus shall adorn my grave
Life is HP loss
Every moment weighs me down like a loadstone
My breaths like scrolls of punishment
Oh sweet Aleax
Come release me from this torment
I put off my amulet of life saving

The Wizard looms; he comes for me.
Oh! Raise me not as a zombie
I long for the pit's embrace.

Save me not with the bell.

Don't say you weren't warned.

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